The 08/11/2017 was one of the best days of my life. It wasn’t THE best day of my life, because I’ve been lucky enough to have many amazing days, like finding out I was pregnant with my son! I don’t think you can have just one best day!
This day for Kieran and I, was about celebrating nearly 9 wonderful years together and shouting to the world that we’re in it for life. We have made it through some very difficult times together and even more brilliant times. I couldn’t believe he was the man I was meeting at the end of the aisle. I’m one lucky lady. If you don’t feel like that, even after years with one another, I would question whether you should be getting married at all!
I did not anticipate how life changing getting married really was! I realised quite quickly that tying the knot is more than just a man made construct. It was more than just a piece of gold on my finger. It was so much more than a pretty dress and one perfect day. I married my soul mate. I just checked into forever with THE most amazing person on the planet! Not only did I marry the love of my life. We created a new identity. We double barrelled our names to become the new Hemming-Marsh family. And let me tell you it is so refreshing! It seemed to both of us that with our new identity came the feeling of a new start. A new chance to evaluate what we want from our lives as individuals and a couple. Along with the feeling that all is right in the world because Mr and Mrs Hemming-Marsh are who we’ve always been. Two halves of a whole.
The majority of marriages (traditionally) include the bride changing her name to the grooms last name. I wondered what part this plays in the aftermath of identity in marriage. Does the lady feel fresh and new, while the male feels like he always has done. Or does the woman feel that she is fitting into someone else’s identity and leaving herself behind? For many women I can imagine it is a great honour to take their husbands last name. Lucky for me, the UK is pretty forward thinking in this department and we have more choice now. Whether it is the choice to change your name, or the choice to enter a same sex partnership.
It is wonderful being a wife. It is wonderful that we both felt we could make decisions that were right for us.
It’s a real sign of the times.